Happy Anniversary?

Yesterday, Lisa and I celebrated our wedding anniversary. Well, to say we celebrated it might be a little misleading. How do you define celebration - an exchange of gifts, a romantic candlelight dinner and dancing? We didn't do any of those things.

We awoke early to take our beloved dog Sadie to see the neurological specialists at Mississippi State. He has exhibited symptons that are consistent with a serious neurological issue and, at the recommendation of our local veternarians, we wanted them to give us their perspective. Yesterday's cold and rain didn't do much to lighten our moods, nor did the news we received from the specialists.

Now what I have learned over the course of time in our marriage comes down to two big things. First, I am not always right. This is not fair and I will argue the percentage of time that this is not true, but it is true nonetheless.  The second thing that I have learned is that Lisa and I are two very different people who listen in different ways, who speak in different ways, who process in different ways, who plan in different ways and who react in different ways.  We are not the same person as though that would be easier, but we are very different in very important ways. 

In most trivial matters, recognizing that is easy, but celebrating it is not a visceral response. However, yesterday, our anniversary, and today as we work though not only the issue with Sadie, but also with all of life's questions, family dynamics and dilemmas I am thankful for our differences. In fact, I celebrate them. Perhaps this is what we mean when we say vows that include words like love, honor and cherish. Two opinions create tension, but in that tension is the beauty of listening to another person, of having to check my own arrogance and prejudices and, at the very least, of being vulnerable. 

Each day we are presented situations and experiences that require our "better angels." In most cases, we do not ask God for the hard and difficult stuff just to test our mettle. But when we encounter those trying moments that come with being in a family, with being a parent, with being a partner, with being a child of God and, yes, with loving a dog, I give thanks that I have someone not like me whom I honor and cherish and love.

Just so you know, I did take Lisa out to eat for our anniversary. On the way back to Memphis, we stopped and ate Tops BBQ in the car with our dog. From the back seat with the dog curled up next to her, Lisa raised her styrofoam cup and straw and said to me, "Cheers," and "Happy Anniversary."  Happy Anniversary indeed.

Peace, John+

Comments

[Ted]

Happy Anniversary! Thanks for sharing this story. Love endures all things.